The First Move

What To Do When You Feel Stuck -- 22 Oct 2009

Has this ever happened to you?  You're be-bopping through life.  Everything seems to be going along just fine.  Then one day, you discover you are stuck.  In the mud.  In your circular thoughts.  No matter what you do, moving forward just ain't happening.

Next thing you know, your usually friendly, open self is suddenly surly, sulky, short-tempered and frazzled. 

To the outside world, you manage to keep up the appearance of everything being a-okay.  But on the inside, you're fraught with discontent, unease and - oh yes -  even fear that this stuckness may be forever.

Usually, stuckness is looked at in terms of outer impacts.  Not being able to get something done.  Staying in a dead end job or painful relationship.  Not being able to change a pattern of behavior that no longer serves you.

But what about stuckness' inner impacts?  The ones that keep you from peace in the middle of everyday life?

• The fertile ground for feeling badly about yourself.  Which is neither kind nor helpful.

• The war waging inside you.  On one side the good guys - telling you everything's going to be alright.  On the other side the bad guys - telling you what a loser you are.

• Sharing the beating up on yourself with everything around you.  Suddenly nothing is good enough.  Dissatisfaction and disappointment abound. 

• Being lousy company - either with yourself or any body else.  Questions from friends sound like inquisitions to your defensive ears.  The tendency to hunker down and pull within takes over. 

• Putting a layer between you, your basic goodness and your inner wisdom.  Making it harder to step outside yourself to notice what's going on around you.

• Feeling far from happy.

So what's a Peace Warrior to do?  Is there a way to put being stuck to good use ?  Absolutely!

• Remember, this too shall pass.  Trite?  Over used?  Perhaps.  And yet - the truth of impermanence is on your side.  Even when you can't see it, things are moving within and without you.
  

• Connect with the energy and wisdom within you.  Life is all about energy - the energy that brought you here, the energy that flows through everything around and within you.  Your basic goodness and inner wisdom are connected to and part of that energy.  Take time to be still - even for a few moments - to connect with the energy and wisdom within you.  Feel it's movement.  Allow it to inform your first, small step out of stuckness.
  

• Use nature as your guide.  Go outside and spend even a few minutes watching birds.  Each breath they take and movement they make is in alignment with the beat of life.  Light breaks - time to get up, take a bath, grab a bite to eat, play a bit, make love, do some work, eat some more.  Darkness comes - go to sleep.  Light breaks - get up and do it all over again.  Connecting mindfully with the simple things of everyday life reminds you that you do know how to move forward - even when you think you can't.

• Notice your ego's part in keeping you stuck.   The Peace Warrior's journey is about being awake and responding to the world with your open heart and basic goodness.  Operating from here, you are expansive and inclusive.  This is a direct challenge to ego.  It prefers small, dark corners and exclusion.  Ego's fine when you're talking with your friends and family about things safe and secure.  But when it catches you peeling away the layers and speaking from your heart,  it will put on the brakes. 
  

Finding yourself stuck from time to time is neither good nor bad.  It's simply part of being human.  Use it as an opportunity to notice, to grow, to put to good use.  To move you forward on you Peace Warrior's journey.